tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89084325493088271222024-03-13T20:06:58.474-07:00The Vintage BoutiqueFashion fades, only style remains the same. - ChanelUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger82125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-42763460775748560122012-12-12T20:22:00.000-08:002012-12-12T20:22:11.056-08:00My 2012 Changes2012- People in your life affect you NO MATTER WHAT.. even when they pass you by. we ALL need to understand we ARE the company WE KEEP.
Sister- Thru her life, I learned to be THANKFUL for ALL I HAVE, for who I am, and how far I have come. I have learned that people come from ALL walks of life.. and we as PEOPLE from another so called "life" need to ACCEPT that..
Friend - Taught me it is SO IMPORTANT TO COMMUNICATE CLEARLY.. not just communicate.. BUT BE DETAILED/ specific.. because things definitely get lost in translation.. sheesh.. and you think this is a relationship bf/gf issue.. its DEF NOT.. best friends can FIGHT on... for hours... too HAHAH
Friend- Taught me to see things POSITIVELY, and really shows me what REAL LOVE looks like.. Her thoughtfulness keeps me.. INCREDIBLY SANE
BF- Taught me patience, to STOP OVERTHINKING every little thing, to see things differently, and most of all if things can be changed then work on it, and if it can't then to let go and accept it :) He above all can keep me grounded with a much needed REALITY check... very difficult for me and yet he can manage :)
Roomie: taught me to have fun and let go sometimes. My seriousness and her excitement sure make a great duo
My entire OT class: omg true bliss.. the BIGGEST encouragement in LIFE.. my motivation.. this is what they are.
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-63447152245201892292012-12-08T12:40:00.001-08:002012-12-08T12:40:47.977-08:00patternMy life has always been a consistent pattern
no matter how much I try to change it or digress from it,
I seem to come right back to where I was..
and I always thing "geez, nothing is ever going to change"
But I guess this is where I was stuck,
with this whole idea of change..
what is the purpose to change?
usually people change for other people
and maybe I was one of them, in fact I AM one of them.
So now that I know that,
maybe I don't even need to change..
I have an amazing boyfriend that is teaching me
to stop "over-thinking"life.
If you are happy, it is simply that .. "be happy"
why look for a flaw? why try to break a beautiful thing,
it'll end if it needs to .. on a greater note or for a greater purpose..
so make the most of each moment, each breath...
but at the same time KNOW how to pick yourself up and move on..
life is WAY to short.. to LINGER..
make the changes that disrupt your life..
keep at the things that make you happy
and APPRECIATE everything- negative and positive.
I am beginning to understand that it is NOT the approval of others that I seek, it is simply my own..
and from there.. I can seek the changes I need.
LIFE IS GREAT,
I know when to cut ties, when to embrace love,
know how to confront,
know how to work hard,
know how to STOP overthinking
and STOP listening to everyone ELSE's opinions
Simply.. LIVE. LOVE. and HAVE FAITH (totally cliche but totally true)
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-87331521187644866192012-11-13T05:57:00.003-08:002012-11-13T05:57:40.189-08:00Men vs. Women and what I did not knowMen and Women love being in relationships...
they pursue, they get interested, they learn, they grow or not... they decide "is this worth it?" and either continue or discontinue..
then there are those where they spent every waking hour together but the relationship still sucks...
is this new info?
nope.. everyone knows this..
but what I didn't realize is .. that.. people don't work because there is this thing called "perfect" person... or that he/she wasn't the ideal..
The reason that some people just work.. is because the guy/ girl are on the same page..
basically the girl has figured out how she functions.. and how he functions..
and in the same way.. so has the guy..
with that in their subconscious.. they act accordingly...
girls... we get endorphins.. "our happy hormones" thru our emotions.. thru TALKING.. CUDDLING.. SWEET ROMANTIC GESTURES... sweet words... etc...
guys.. they get their high.. from thrills.. from doing manly things.. or whatever they think is "manly" .. because it gives them that edge...
who would have know that TALKING .. only gives girls a high meanwhile make the guy decrease in happiness... but still they try.. because they just don't know.. but scientifically.. all this emotional stuff actually stalls their own happiness.
solution?
Let men be men..
the more you *the woman* let go and allow the freedom.. the more high he will get YOU.. and the more he will want you to feel balanced basically... he will crave you.. and desire you..
so really even tho it feels like you "lost" him.. you are actually WINNING.. so ladies, just sit back and relax.. FOCUS on your life.. and be successful in all aspect of your life.. because your relationship shouldn't get in the way nor should it... make you cray.
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-69013593576734951392012-02-10T11:17:00.001-08:002012-02-10T11:22:02.397-08:00PastI am nothing like you. <br />I will never be<br />I will never WANT to be you ever again. <br /><br />I'm speaking hypothetically about my past. <br />When I look back, I see such a naive girl. <br />Someone that didn't know who she was<br />what she wanted<br />and let the world define it for her<br /><br />let people.. <br />irrelevant people define my world? <br /><br />how dumb of me<br /><br />I am in a new place, <br />eyes wide open<br />seeing the crap I used to deal with <br />and NOW I woke up, and realized I HAVE FULL control of what I want<br />who I am<br />where I want to be. <br /><br />There is no stopping me, <br />because there is no stopping my destiny.. my future.. <br /><br />in the end, we all end up where we should. <br />past takes us to the present, and the present takes us to our future<br /><br />every second of our lives<br />we make choices <br />and I choose to take control <br /><br />I don't take your crap, my crap, the worlds crap anymore. <br />life is what it is, <br />you take it one day at a time, and it will be an emotional roller coaster, <br />but we all love roller coasters right? .. haha<br /><br />life should be fun.. <br />take advantage. <br />stop dwelling on CRAP. <br /><br />Make a change. Today. Right NOW!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-49317690243778522632012-01-18T15:15:00.000-08:002012-01-18T15:17:26.922-08:00epiphanyYou want to be the girl that guys go crazy for? <br /><br />- be a mystery <br />- don't talk so much (crap) <br />- have your OWN life<br />- let them have their OWN life<br />- don't care so much, be as DRAMA_ FREE as possible <br />- don't be needy, you can fend for yourself <br />- don't be interested, unless you REALLY are. <br />- don't conform <br />- be absolutely and COMPLETELY yourselfUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-68822136553008672462012-01-16T16:33:00.001-08:002012-02-10T11:28:03.913-08:00Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-88264469608627975952012-01-08T09:16:00.000-08:002012-01-08T09:24:29.581-08:00You choose. You decideEvery second the time passes, <br />you breathe in new air<br />you breathe out old air<br />your eye captures new images <br />and your brain absorbs new material <br /><br />every day we learn something new <br />every day we strive to be better people. <br /><br />how we behave becomes our sole actions <br />actions that become our habits<br /><br />and all together, makes you YOU! <br />but on the side note, all of it also becomes your "reputation" <br /><br />Reputation is a hard act to follow<br />meaning it defines your core.. <br />well in other people's eyes.. <br />and it can't be easily erased<br /><br />so what is stronger? what the majority has to say about you? or what you have to say? <br />yes YOU are all that matters.. <br />but if you live in "society"<br />the group, the people, the world becomes the dominant force.. <br />and you can't escape what you are labeled. <br /><br />Unless with great patience and great wisdom <br />you alter your behavior<br />you decide your next move with GREAT wisdom <br />you patiently stick by what you say you will do <br /><br />Its officially been 1 wk of the new year, <br />and I have not been preparing myself for what changes I want to make<br /><br />I don't want to be taken for granted anymore <br />when I see strong independent women that don't define themselves from a man's eyes, I want to be them! <br />I want to be classy and elegant in the way I speak, take care of others, and behave. <br /><br />I hope to be a better person this year. <br />all I need to remember is <br />make "smarter and greater choices"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-81257595714054614262011-12-11T21:03:00.000-08:002011-12-11T21:11:46.578-08:00EgocentrismEver feel like your life is on a movie set, <br />cameras rolling<br />and you're the main character? <br /><br />or do you feel like the invisible one, <br />just another person in the crowd?<br /><br />its amazing how our personalities develop <br />and makes us who we are today. <br /><br />we fall under one of those two categories <br />but I guess it all depends on how established your "self esteem" is. <br /><br />Believe it or not, <br />when we were much younger,<br />when we were naive <br />and we saw the world as beautiful and innocent, <br />we all developed the same way (normal development that is)<br />our pre-operational stages or what not, we all believed we were invincible. <br />we were all EGOCENTRIC <br /><br />that belief still lingers in some adults these days, <br />and I believe that egocentrism is what brought them to be someone GREAT. <br />self esteem. self motivators, self- doers. <br />these are the people I respect. <br />I honor them, because they DON"T WASTE THEIR LIFE<br /><br />every moment I feel like i waste my life.. I just want to kill myself.. <br /><br />its like HI I"M SHARON, <br />now what am I doing? <br /><br />I feel it ... inside of me.. something GREAT is about to happen.. <br />I don't know when... but I feel it coming.. <br />because I CHOOSE never to give up.. <br />on faith.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-80954138543807008982011-12-08T22:37:00.000-08:002011-12-08T22:42:57.505-08:00Who am I? Who are you?It's amazing how we are given one life, <br />and we can choose to be anybody at any given time. <br /><br />we may not be able to change our circumstances, <br />but we can push towards "change" <br />much greatness comes with a change in yourself. <br /><br />all my values, views, morals, etc.. <br />comes down to what I CHOSE. <br /><br />I live with it, I stick with it.. <br />and that is what sets me apart from you .. from them... <br /><br />but at any given moment, I can change.. <br />I can hate the things I once loved<br />and love the things I once hated.. <br /><br />but that's life right? <br /><br />New york was such an amazing "change" for me... <br />its actually something that I needed.. <br />I don't know if its my escape place yet, but it taught me that <br />california is not where I ever want to be. <br /><br />In order to be completely myself, and find myself <br />I need to keep following my dreams <br />my hopes<br />my heart... <br /><br />once I do that, I know I will lose myself <br />because I will get caught up in my new life.. <br />but the amazing part is, I need to lose my old self<br />to find the "better" me. <br /><br />its there, but now its my time to just come out and be a NEW YORKER. :)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-20181976143044355882011-06-26T09:07:00.001-07:002011-06-26T09:15:26.989-07:00WeakI am emotionally vulnerable, weak, and unstable.. <br />FOR NOW. <br /><br />of course I let my heart go thru SO much and never allowed it to heal. <br />Each time a person goes in and out of my life.. <br />even friends.. <br />my heart slowly tears apart piece by piece. <br /><br />I am still in the process of healing.. <br />and still in the process of understanding<br /><br />I am striving to become tougher and stronger<br />because they say after something breaks apart- <br />its becomes tougher, stronger, and more durable. <br /><br />I know what pain feels like<br />and I think the heartache that my dad caused <br />has been the greatest- <br />it was my FIRST heart break<br /><br />That is the heart I did not allow to heal, <br />boys will try to mend it<br />but they fail <br />and they go because they feel like failures...<br />sigh never satisfied. and never will be till i'm satisfied with myself. <br /><br />But yes, I am still weak<br />and.. I fail all the time.. <br />so knowing there is nothing here for me in LA <br />helps me LOOK forward to NEW YORK<br /><br />I really do hope I develop an entirely NEW perspective on life. <br />and just love, care, and be myself <br />I hope to really find myself out there<br />and meet really great ppl. <br />let the countdown begin!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-54797752101637743972011-06-17T19:46:00.000-07:002011-06-17T19:57:05.306-07:00Being SingleWhen you're in a relationship, <br />you no longer have your own life.<br />As much as you do things apart, <br />you still have bear responsibility <br />to your other half, <br />you are consumed with them<br />you think about them<br />what they are doing<br />making sure you guys are communicating on a daily basis. <br />It's a lot of work<br />and its a lot of $ <- you spend like triple what you would being single. <br />Now all of this stuff isn't bad.. <br />but because it is so time consuming<br />its only nice when you are fully prepared. <br /><br />Some of us aren't ready<br />no matter how much we want a relationship with the special someone<br />I've realized that.. <br />if we still have lingering dreams<br />we might have to reevaluate if you are READY. <br /><br />I have great dreams, <br />to have a great career<br />to travel the world<br />to open a clinic in Africa <br />etc. <br />I would love to do this with someone.. <br />but in reality this is my dream and no one elses. <br /><br />I'm heading on my path, <br />and a lot of men have fallen short<br />they can't deal with women with such great ambitions.. <br />when they are the last things on their mind. <br />I enjoy the feeling of a relationship<br />but I suck at being in one<br /><br />I constantly make the guy a priority<br />I sacrifice my time to spend with them and less with friends/ family<br />I spend way too much money to buy them the best gifts.. <br />and we eat out a LOT<br /><br />soo all in all.. <br />being single.. <br />is actually so refreshing.. <br />I do everything I need to do<br />and am becoming even more ambitious. <br /><br />So many career minded women who have risen at the top<br />marry past their 30's and there is a reason<br />they let no man stop them in their tracks<br /><br />I def. envy my friend nancy ly<br />who closes off the world so she can achieve her DREAMS<br />she made it at the age of 23 as a doctor of dental surgery. <br />HOW AMAZING is that? <br />there are great ppl in this world and I want to be one.. <br />I feel like.. I'm just bubbling with so much energy.. <br />so I can't wait to start my new life in NEW YORK<br />and ENJOY EVERYTHING IT has to offer<br /><br />Good bye LA. I never liked you :(Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-9326266170048873002011-06-11T23:29:00.001-07:002011-06-22T00:48:51.869-07:00Dump him, Keep himi've learned to pick up some tips on WHAT TO WATCH FOR in MEN.. and leave them when they show any signs of THIS... its better for you and your TIME! <br /><br />1) A man that can't take criticism <br />MEN like this are immature, and they are hard to talk to or deal with. They can't stand for change and are extremely insecure. <br />2) A man that decreases in effort <br />3) A man that can't support you - financially, emotionally<br />4) A man that won't change for you- <br />it seriously should come naturally, if you want more encouraging words from him, he should be able to provide ur needs<br />5) A man that is materialistic <br />6) A man that doesn't prioritize you<br />7) A man that does not have a stable job<br />8) A man that is still figuring out his own life<br />9) A man that can't confront<br />10) A man that isn't in touch with his emotions<br />11) A man that does things for you with hesitation<br />12) A man afraid of love and the even the WORD<br />13) A man that thinks too much when he is with you <- serious doubt mode<br />14) A man that thinks you are an OPTION<br />15) A man that doesn't treat you like the queen you are<br />16) A man that does not FIGHT for you or STAND UP FOR YOU<br />17) A man that CAN"T see ur perspective <br />18) A man that can't sympathize <br />19) A man that is ANGRY<br />20) A man that still lives with his parents <br />21) A man stuck in his own WORLD and comfort..<- BORING<br /><br />IF YOUR MAN is ANY OF THE ABOVE.. <br />RUN..<br />RUN FAR FAR AWAY! <br />=) that is all..Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-7199389522694505512011-06-05T20:43:00.000-07:002011-06-05T20:51:20.392-07:00Peace of mindRecent breakup- <br />Not of my doing. <br /><br />How do I take it? <br />fairly well.. <br />actually VERY well<br /><br />I have absolutely no bitterness, anger, or if i did.. it literally lasted an hr. <br /><br />this relationship was definitely different<br />because he was genuinely kind. <br />he was kind. <br />he was absolutely good to me. <br />The more I think of him, <br />the more respect I have for him... <br />and the more I think<br />I keep thinking its my fault.. <br /><br />I know people tell me not to blame me.. <br />but you know what, who is to take the blame.. <br />when he did nothing wrong.. <br />the only wrong he did was probably just giving me a "weak" fight.. <br />but I guess I didn't allow room for a fight.. <br /><br />I am NOT this girl- this crazy girl.. <br />but when I become dependent on a guy, <br />or really fall for him.. <br />i change.. <br />and I HATE that about me. <br />I become just another girl, when I know better. <br />I become this crazy girl that feels like I deserve MORE.. or BETTER.. <br />and I always have this innate fear in me <br />that they will wake up one day and just not love me anymore<br />they will realize they made a mistake. <br />and I let all that consume me..<br />and of course it destroys a beautiful relationship.. <br /><br />it killed us. <br /><br />the reason I went into shock from the break up was because.. <br />it was SO good.. <br />so good to the point.. that a break up seemed impossible. <br />but I fell into my own fears- and stopped being "me" <br />I just felt so sad..that it wasn't enough, or that i wasn't enough.. <br />my sadness made him run.. <br />maybe to protect himself.. <br />but it was smart.. <br />gawd, who would want to deal with me..<br /><br />I'm definitely not ready to be in a relationship.. <br />not now, nor anytime soon. <br /><br />I respect this guy very much.. <br />and my heart will always be happy that I experienced this type of "love"<br />so I am very much at peace with him, with my heart, with the breakup.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-76441636992080478672011-06-05T13:02:00.000-07:002011-06-05T13:10:18.492-07:00My styleEveryone approaches life in very different ways<br />When a conflict occurs, <br />some people think and approach it in the most rational way possible<br />others, they take it to the extreme and fall into utter depression. <br /><br />It is a constant learning process that most of us take years to learn <br />or its a simple matter of just moving on. <br /><br />I never knew my "style" <br />until people that knew me a lot <br />would mention <br />"oh, you know u always do this..?" <br />and I say.. uh?.. really? <br />its really interesting actually. <br /><br />Just talking to my dad- <br />he would say <br />'i'm too adamant about what I want, and I get really sad because there may be possible complications" <br />he said the only reason "family" can tolerate this... "flaw" of mine, is because they are the only one that aren't affected by it- <br />they know my heart and I know theirs <br />but when it comes to strangers- their tolerance is a lot lower and they fail to understand me.. Hopefully one day.. <br />I will understand who I am- <br />but for now... I am still so immature <br />and my approach to life is still in the "negative" area..Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-442153540388327922011-06-04T08:28:00.000-07:002011-06-04T08:36:27.642-07:00A piece of wisdomSo I talk to a guy friend of mine- <br />he is very YOUNG<br />but his words were very mature.. <br /><br />He said simply this: <br /><br />" You need to find a man that is able to communicate and above all else be able to take criticism" <br /><br />I was in a relationship with a guy I thought was perfect- <br />but as you can see he wasn't. <br />He bottled up so much just to keep peace- <br />and when something went wrong- he took it the wrong way and walked away. <br /><br />I do have a lot of things to work on myself, <br />but now I know the importance of looking for a man with those particular qualities because its really important<br />to be able to grow and strive together- <br />Not "pretend" to be happy as you bottle things up along the way. <br />People explode that way and its scary...<br />and above all else- extremely heart breaking.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-17074191236920074522011-06-03T23:27:00.000-07:002011-06-03T23:37:55.957-07:00AcceptanceSo I do realize now, <br />after so many attempts of maintaining a failed relationship<br />what my problem is.. <br /><br />I HAVE MAJOR issues with <br />HIGH expectations <br /><br />:( <br /><br />I constantly desire a type of relationship<br />where the love is constantly GROWING<br />not.. just getting "comfortable" <br />I hate that..<br />I JUST HATE IT.. <br /><br />but yes, ppl say "omg thats life!"<br />well if i'm constantly striving to make the relationship better<br />why can't they? <br />why do they like to stop trying<br />and just cruise by..? WHAT IS THAT... <br />sucks.. <br /><br />I never make promises I can't keep, <br />I am who I am.. <br />and thats who they claim to "fall for" <br />but to please me, <br />they make all these promises and act a certain way that they think will make me happy. <br />Well it doesn't <br />it just comes off as fake, and really hard to read..<br />then they become resentful.. of YOU<br />what is that?! <br /><br />so yes I have come to the conclusion that I need to give a guy more slack<br />Although, I wanted to with my most recent relationship, <br />something in me just didn't want to give him that slack<br />because I knew he was getting way too comfortable.. <br />To the point where it just got "boring"<br />the relationship got "boring" <br />it was a good relationship<br />but its not mine.. <br />its not what I want<br />and that SADNESS was exposed so clearly <br />that he walked away because it made him feel like a failure. <br />He was smart to walk away.. although I think it was weak <br />it was smart in the long run<br />and I'm thankful for him<br />and glad he treated me well.. <br /><br />I just wanted more.. <br />and if that desire is there, then obviously no matter how good the relationship is, <br />its just not right.. <br />the right person will always make you feel complete.. <br />not like a little piece is missing.. <br />this was a good run. I'm glad it happened. :)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-33073094883302677532011-05-31T18:59:00.000-07:002011-05-31T19:05:00.862-07:00Do not worryI am a huge worry wart.. <br />anyone that knows me, knows that's one of my more stand- out - ish <br />characteristics. <br /><br />Its really hard for me to take in "bad" things.. <br />and sometimes I think they are dreams, and that I just need to wake up.. <br />I think i'm prone to falling into depression .. deep depression one of these days<br />cuz its so hard for me to pick myself up. :( <br /><br />Everyday, it seems like I receive a life stressor- <br />like there is never a break for me.. <br />I constantly need to be worrying about something<br /><br />life is really tiring to live..<br />esp my life, when 90% of the things go wrong.<br />YES i want to see the sunny side of things, <br />but its hard especially when I'm constantly being slapped in the face :( <br />Well, <br /><br />I should take advice from both the bible <br />and from friends.. <br /><br />DO NOT WORRY :<br />"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."<br /><br />and for people that tell me: <br />It happens! meh. <br />ahha true, a lot of things happen to people,<br />so just keep on swimming.. keep going <br /><br />I suppose.. this will be one of my greater lessons in life.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-65121788137267645302011-05-30T22:06:00.000-07:002011-05-30T22:14:59.302-07:00DifferenceThere is something about differences in people- it can be good or it can be very bad. <br />I guess there is always some kind of "compromising" that must be done in a relationship <br />but I strongly believe in changing the BARE minimum. <br /><br />To love someone's flaws perfectly. <br />man, its so rare to find that kind of love. <br />I know i'm not hopeless when it comes to that, but I sure feel.. far from it. <br /><br />Yes, I always rave about my boyfriend being so great, and don't get me wrong, he is amazing! <br />He's amazing in a lot of aspects, <br />but taking a closer look.. <br />he seems like the perfect guy from afar, <br />the details of our relationship however don't seem to add up to me. <br />No matter how much I try to squish the pieces together, <br />I can't seem to fit them.. <br />Something feels off<br />something feels wrong.. <br />and my heart can't help but.. <br />drift <br /><br />I can't seem to really find what's wrong.. but I'm thinking <br />there just doesn't seem to be enough passion- <br />this Passion or fire that I see in perfect couples.. <br />its there.. in the smallest way.. <br />but its not there for me.. <br />I'm so stagnant in this relationship, <br />not drowning nor growing from it, <br />and I don't think feeling this way is healthy. <br /><br />Why is it so hard to find a guy that is CRAZY about me.. <br />I no longer blame the guy, <br />I think maybe there is just something wrong with me.. <br />Not that i'm a horrible person, but just that.. <br />I'm just not capable of love.. at least not the love that exist in this world. <br /><br />I'm happy by myself.. and always have been.. maybe I'm suppose to stay that way forever.. <br />who knows.. <br />I am no longer looking in the future.. cuz my path is constantly changing .. leading me to a whole new place.. <br />I no longer trust my heartUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-28130947276931251832011-05-27T09:57:00.000-07:002011-05-27T10:01:42.355-07:00ChallengeI just got challenged<br />when I make my move to new york = aug 9,2011<br />I need to create a blog and update once a wk. <br /><br />I'm literally going there with ONE luggage :( <br />so scary =*(Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-30669668207121261572011-04-15T10:25:00.001-07:002011-04-15T10:27:04.269-07:00NYUBtw, I just got into NYU.. <br />and now I feel like my life is just beginning!<br />this is the CHANGE that I have been looking for, <br />most likely in AUG- I'll move to a new BLOG- <br />and have a better camera.. <br />that way I can document my whole NEW life in NEW YORK :) <br />I am psyched!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-17102173561222093362011-04-15T10:12:00.000-07:002011-04-15T10:24:09.397-07:00figuredSo I figured something out about all boys- and I must say this is pretty universal with them.. <br />it must be innate or something<br />but remember that "chase" or the "game" <br />that we all played in high school? <br />Well I noticed that.. even though girls sort of grow out of it, I don't really think guys do.. <br />No matter how mature they are, <br />I think they always carry this pride with them.. this pride to always "win" or always be the "man" in a relationship.. <br /><br />How does this work? <br />well you see relationships are a tug of war.. <br />you are either pulling, or he is... <br />Basically if you are pulling hard (trying hard to not care) he doubles his effort to win you back.. <br />I know this is so lame.. <br />but i honestly think its true.. <br /><br />I know my boyfriend when he was unsure where my heart was.. well I was unsure, cuz I just got out of a two yr relationship, I was pretty distant... <br />but anyways, do you know how hard he TRIED? <br />HE tried really hard.. <br />and went out of his way.. to "woo" me.. <br />then there were times.. he found out that I was going to hang out with my ex's friends.. <br />and he.. tried to see me as much as possible before I went.. <br />coincidence? <br />I don't think so.. <br />the more he did for me, the more I became "crazy" about him.. <br />I let my entire guard down.. <br />he still tries, but now that he knows he has me- because I became this crazy clingy gf.. I don't think he tries as "hard" <br />I'm basically giving him my end of the rope.. <br />dumb? <br />YES! ALL GUYS HATE CLINGY GIRLS.. <br />I know its hard to do, especially when you are one, but sometimes we just need to back off<br />you know those guys that think of their girl - day and night? <br />its because the girl doesn't CARE.. or its not her priority to .. think much about him.. <br />but it drives guys crazy.. <br /><br />every time my boyfriend thinks i'm upset, I withdraw myself because I just stop caring.. about everything<br />but that's when I see he tries so much harder, trying to bind us back to normal..<br />I guess it'll never be normal, <br />I used to not have that much pride in myself, but thanks to my ex... <br />I no longer want to be that girl that likes the guy more.. <br />I really feel like the GUY has to always LOVE the girl the most.. <br />she must be pursued and cared for at all times.. <br />I honestly believe the girls heart is precious.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-32066460499611769892011-03-11T17:43:00.000-08:002011-03-11T17:48:31.921-08:00excitement..The way I think will never change.. <br />I constantly search for the ideal fairy tale <br />and although I know in reality they don't exist.. <br />My body just won't allow me to stop. <br /><br />When I look at relationships, <br />how they start and blossom<br />I am simply happy. - excited <br /><br />But why does it have to stop? <br />Why do they always stop being excited <br />Men, Women- take everything for granted if they have it, <br />but when will they realize that they can lose it just as quickly? <br /><br />Just cuz you've won them over, does not mean <br />that... you have them.. <br />so cherish them, love them, and tell them. <br /><br />I'm always excited about things I have, and I hold so closely things I never want to lose. <br />Its just sad when others just fall into a pattern of.. <br />oh k I can stop trying now. <br /><br />sad. I can't be in a relationship like that. <br />I like to constantly be in love. <br />and if people are telling me that type of love doesn't exist <br />I rather die alone.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-42644548427425057432011-02-26T01:29:00.000-08:002011-02-26T01:35:32.497-08:00FriendshipThis topic has been lurking on my mind for a while.. <br />you know I realized that all people view the term and meaning of "friendship" <br />very differently. <br /><br />Personally, <br />I use it as one of the deepest form of relationship a person can have. <br />I am the type of person that wears her heart on her sleeve<br />and I'm not afraid to show it.. even though it makes me vulnerable, it also makes me stronger.<br />That is why, I don't take my friendship with people lightly <br />and its extremely offensive when they aren't equal in effort, love, and respect. <br /><br />I have learned from a rough path, <br />to cut those that affect me negatively <br />and to embrace those that build me up. <br /><br />I constantly strive to be a good friend <br />and I put a lot of my time and energy into them, <br />its just sad when it isn't reciprocated <br />and many people in this world, use friendship.. as a temporary fix to help fill a void <br /><br />I choose to cut.. <br />sad to see <br />those around me, will probably not be around 5 yrs from now. :(Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-78303092346315316872011-02-23T00:17:00.000-08:002011-02-23T00:24:39.795-08:00My stageSo I am currently in this awkward stage of my life <br />where I am just STUCK<br />I thought people only stay in this state for what.. 1-2 yrs <br />but I definitely feel like it is much longer for me, and it is only leading to more depression.. <br /><br />I need movement, I need change, and I need something to get my attention away from feeling so LOST <br />its so hard to change my perception especially when I have nothing to look forward to in the moment. <br /><br />I am working my butt off in a job that pays me NOTHING <br />I am living pay check to pay check<br />My best friend lives FAR from me now <br />and I seriously have to spend a lot of my days ALONE<br />EVER since she left I seriously have no one to talk to, or enjoy doing exciting things with.. <br />she was my go to girl, she was my best friend.. <br />and please don't think my boyfriend.. is enough.. <br />BOYS are NEVER enough in a girls life.. <br />they don't even understand you half the time.. and when they try to console you thru a troubling time, often times they make it WORSE.. <br />I am waiting on schools to get back to me.. but that will take 2 more months<br />and I used to travel- A LOT and now.. i am stuck in this STUPID SGV ... in seriously a FRKN BUBBLE.. <br />doing the same frkn thing everyday <br />and I can't change anything NOR MOVE because I HAVE NO MONEY, NOR SAVINGs to TRYYYYYYY anything different.. <br />I can't miss a single day of work.. and life seriously feels like the ULTIMATE LOW.. <br />this ALL BLOWS.. <br />and I CAN"T HELP BUT VENT...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8908432549308827122.post-25519726251854569152011-02-19T02:51:00.000-08:002011-02-19T02:56:55.344-08:00In my mind..I have an image in my head... <br />ideal but can be made real. <br />I'm not..irrational in the way I think<br />and I feel that life can turn out to be as great as we make it to be<br /><br />What's important to me: <br />1) family- i can't wait to have my own kids and have so much fun with my husband<br />2) relationships- I hope we continue to LOVE LOVE LOVE <br />3) friends- I hope I find a close knit of friends that reciprocate in effort<br />4) career- I hope all the efforts I put in will always result in excellence<br />5) interior design- I can't wait to design my future house<br />5) tea - want to COLLECT all things TEA<br />6) ballet- Want to continue<br />7) science - want a career in it<br />8) fashion - want to be up to date with it<br />9) GOD - want to DRAW closer to HIM <3Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3