Trust

It really is the hardest thing in the world to trust people, or even to trust yourself.

We change, they change.

Life always takes us to new places and sometimes gives us the most unfortunate events to deal with.

With more and more serious relationships, the harder its seems for me to grasp the whole idea of trust- just cuz it gets scarier and will inevitably be far worse in the future then in the beginning.

I truly envy- strong, independent girls who never let anything bring them down, and live such care free lives. I also love those girls who take charge of their own self worth- making them even more amazing.

In life, what can we do to stop living in the fear of not trusting other people?

My future HOME

I don't know why, but I am SO obsessed with the vintage look.

I think my future husband will hate to live with me, because he'll feel very much like a girl.

but dundundun.. here is a layout of what I want my living room, kitchen, and bathroom to look like.. :)

I am very big on white, off white, beige, and flowers :)

Product Review

A quick review.

I was at the target store looking around, its always exciting to just be in there. haha

I usually go to sephora for makeup or lotions etc..

but there was always this one product I always wanted to try at target but .. was too scared to try..

but luckily, today there was a representative for the line (no idea why) but she was there and it was really nice to talk to her.

This product company is from "boots"

they produce several different lines for various problems. I've seen them in magazines before along with olay as being one of the best "cheapest" products to use.

I was looking for a night cream because I ran out of my burts bees radiance night cream- which I feel was very good but felt like it doesn't hurt to try something new.

I liked the texture of the botanics line because they use ginseng, alfalfa, and some use grape extracts just like caudalie line does. The difference is the price.. I usually drop $40.00 for a lotion at sephora and for an itty bitty bottle, while the botanics boots line cost max $12.00. HUGE difference. I tested it on my wrist of course to make sure I'm not super allergic, and I was surprised to see how INCREDIBLY soft it made my skin! I was originally going to buy this huge bottle just cuz I liked the feeling of it, but the lady was like .. that's for VERY mature, old lady skin.. HAHAH and she referred me to the "pre-wrinkle creams" for younger people. Same concept but not as harsh. I consented and now i'm trying wrinkle reduction serum~ which I just used and am VERY happy with :) I know we don't have wrinkles now, but I think if we start now, it'll be better as we age.

But then she thought I might be using an intense moisturizer which isn't right for my skin- this can leave you with an oily residue etc.. and I was like oh?

She said I should use a lotion with sun protection and something that is light- this I totally agree with- and so for my DAY moisturizer we were reading up on the No. 7 line. - We both concluded the rebalancing lotion is right for my skin type.. and as of now I totally agree! Keeps you oil free longer. phew.

So today felt like a total success- not only will I be saving a LOT of money, but I can be happy with a new product. :) Glad I can test it. lol

Oh and fyi, they also have a vintage line, where they use vintage packaging. Just the look of it makes me giddy. I LOVE THE VINTAGE LOOK. It'll look good for my future house lol, next to my bathtub which will also be vintage :) I just really want to design my own home now. Excited for the future! but now i'm off topic lol.

I think my next post should be all the furniture I want in my future apt :)

Karma

I sort of believe in KARMA
well not in the way that everyone else uses that term.
I feel like to me KARMA and ATTITUDE are interchangeable

I realized that a good day and a bad day is usually based on how we view the day with our attitude.

There are days I wake up, feel happy and bump into people that are kind and sweet,
the day goes smoothly, things happen where I state "I am so lucky", then BAM! it hits you, you encounter a arrogant man, a person honks at you as you are driving, people are rude, they cut you in line, they critisize you at work. My day turns from something so amazing to a day where I just want to go home because I can no longer smile.I feel so dark and angry. This attitude carries on to everything and everyone. I'm unable to view things as blessings but rather as an annoyance. I hate that, I hate how one little thing can ruin my day, and no matter what, I feel helpless because I can't create that original happiness anymore. ahh this is what stress is.

I also know when my heart turns dark, my attitude and intent turns dark. I hate people that have a bad heart, and I have to admit there are times I am SO angry inside that my heart becomes consumed with evil thoughts and feelings. Even though you think you recovered from this, the darkness continues to linger on and prevents good things to happen to you. I felt a little under the weather, no idea why, maybe because I feel sort of lost in my life, and that is causing me to stress and worry about the unnecessary. I don't know how to stop worrying, and I think all my anger, stress, just all the negative energy surrounding me is seriously attracting a lot of bad things to attack me.

Please let things get better..
:(
I don't want stress to consume me and dictate how I live..
For a while now, I tried putting on a positive attitude and avoided the negative thoughts..
but I believe I cracked.. and now i'm falling apart :/
I need to hear some good news, I want to feel safe again.
Perhaps I should pray for it.