I sort of believe in KARMA
well not in the way that everyone else uses that term.
I feel like to me KARMA and ATTITUDE are interchangeable
I realized that a good day and a bad day is usually based on how we view the day with our attitude.
There are days I wake up, feel happy and bump into people that are kind and sweet,
the day goes smoothly, things happen where I state "I am so lucky", then BAM! it hits you, you encounter a arrogant man, a person honks at you as you are driving, people are rude, they cut you in line, they critisize you at work. My day turns from something so amazing to a day where I just want to go home because I can no longer smile.I feel so dark and angry. This attitude carries on to everything and everyone. I'm unable to view things as blessings but rather as an annoyance. I hate that, I hate how one little thing can ruin my day, and no matter what, I feel helpless because I can't create that original happiness anymore. ahh this is what stress is.
I also know when my heart turns dark, my attitude and intent turns dark. I hate people that have a bad heart, and I have to admit there are times I am SO angry inside that my heart becomes consumed with evil thoughts and feelings. Even though you think you recovered from this, the darkness continues to linger on and prevents good things to happen to you. I felt a little under the weather, no idea why, maybe because I feel sort of lost in my life, and that is causing me to stress and worry about the unnecessary. I don't know how to stop worrying, and I think all my anger, stress, just all the negative energy surrounding me is seriously attracting a lot of bad things to attack me.
Please let things get better..
:(
I don't want stress to consume me and dictate how I live..
For a while now, I tried putting on a positive attitude and avoided the negative thoughts..
but I believe I cracked.. and now i'm falling apart :/
I need to hear some good news, I want to feel safe again.
Perhaps I should pray for it.
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I think many times, people get stuck in their bad attitude or moods because they are scared of the worst that will happen even if the worst is not so bad. So like...say you get a traffic ticket and you're pissed off because you have to pay so much money on something you really may have avoided and you're all sad about that money that you lost. But really, those are just thoughts in your head and you never really let it sink in that you have to pay $100 and it doesn't really affect much in your life besides maybe not buying a couple shirts or going out to eat a couple of times. or you're probably going to still buy the shirt and go out to eat cause that money wouldn't really have affected you much anyway.
ReplyDeleteI dont know if that made sense but it's like what you said, your attitude affects how you view the world and your story of how things happened. to truly forgive will be to truly analyze what happened and realizing, hey, it wasn't that bad after all.