Grad school

Its upon us.
well.. me..
lol.

Sigh, what is wrong with me.. why am I so fickle!!
I feel like such a kid that needs a lot of growing up.

I don't know what will make me happy and it scares me to stick with something that i'm so unsure of..
I want to help people... I know that much
but I also want to do it in a way that will make my job fun more than a mundane task.

when i discovered OT, I thought, whoa this might be perfect for me..
but its also very chill.
you might be thinking why is that bad?

well for those that know me, I am super competitive, and super active in my daily life.
I have to keep at a fast pace and have to fill my schedule up for the year.
I have to stay busy, because that is what drives me.

So then I discovered nurse anesthetist
and boy it sounds SOOOOOOO COOL
to be active in surgery
to get paid double
and to just be in that constantly active environment.

Sigh, what am I doing with my life? :/
i'm already almost there for OT..
why am I trying to give up now?
perhaps I should just try it for 5 yrs and see how much I enjoy it..
and if I don't like it..
go back to school for nursing.wah life has too many choices.