Do not worry

I am a huge worry wart..
anyone that knows me, knows that's one of my more stand- out - ish
characteristics.

Its really hard for me to take in "bad" things..
and sometimes I think they are dreams, and that I just need to wake up..
I think i'm prone to falling into depression .. deep depression one of these days
cuz its so hard for me to pick myself up. :(

Everyday, it seems like I receive a life stressor-
like there is never a break for me..
I constantly need to be worrying about something

life is really tiring to live..
esp my life, when 90% of the things go wrong.
YES i want to see the sunny side of things,
but its hard especially when I'm constantly being slapped in the face :(
Well,

I should take advice from both the bible
and from friends..

DO NOT WORRY :
"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

and for people that tell me:
It happens! meh.
ahha true, a lot of things happen to people,
so just keep on swimming.. keep going

I suppose.. this will be one of my greater lessons in life.

Difference

There is something about differences in people- it can be good or it can be very bad.
I guess there is always some kind of "compromising" that must be done in a relationship
but I strongly believe in changing the BARE minimum.

To love someone's flaws perfectly.
man, its so rare to find that kind of love.
I know i'm not hopeless when it comes to that, but I sure feel.. far from it.

Yes, I always rave about my boyfriend being so great, and don't get me wrong, he is amazing!
He's amazing in a lot of aspects,
but taking a closer look..
he seems like the perfect guy from afar,
the details of our relationship however don't seem to add up to me.
No matter how much I try to squish the pieces together,
I can't seem to fit them..
Something feels off
something feels wrong..
and my heart can't help but..
drift

I can't seem to really find what's wrong.. but I'm thinking
there just doesn't seem to be enough passion-
this Passion or fire that I see in perfect couples..
its there.. in the smallest way..
but its not there for me..
I'm so stagnant in this relationship,
not drowning nor growing from it,
and I don't think feeling this way is healthy.

Why is it so hard to find a guy that is CRAZY about me..
I no longer blame the guy,
I think maybe there is just something wrong with me..
Not that i'm a horrible person, but just that..
I'm just not capable of love.. at least not the love that exist in this world.

I'm happy by myself.. and always have been.. maybe I'm suppose to stay that way forever..
who knows..
I am no longer looking in the future.. cuz my path is constantly changing .. leading me to a whole new place..
I no longer trust my heart

Challenge

I just got challenged
when I make my move to new york = aug 9,2011
I need to create a blog and update once a wk.

I'm literally going there with ONE luggage :(
so scary =*(